Chasing the Shadow

Where ever I go my own shadow is always coming along with me. I tried to diceive it, by standing in the middle of huge shadow of a tree. But, when I come out of the shadow of a tree, my shadow again behind me. Why it is not leaving me alone? Is it a companion? or a devil? ...ah....still not sure.

Suddenly on one fine cloudy day I lost my shadow....!! :-( Tried hard to search for the shadow...but of no use. Wanted to run like a maniac to chase my shadow....but again of no use...!! Opened a science book, and found out that "a dark figure or image cast on the ground or some surface by a body intercepting light."

But on a cloudy day "light" was there...ofcourse....!! But the shadow does not...!! Again, kept on waiting one more sunny day to find my own shadow.

Its been a long journey with my shadow...from being a child to till now shadow is always grown large with me...I never noticed. But, why I want to look at my own shadow...what does it signifies..? why I am writing a blog on such a dumb thought. Even I am wondering too...!!

Dissolving a small shadow under a big shadow, always unacceptable and sad for me. Because, when it dissolves it looses its own identity. Nobody even knows that there are two shadows...may be more than that even unknown to me. But again,when cloud comes infront of Sun or light(!) on ground its a shadow of cloud which again captures all other small shadows. King of all shadows...!!

All the tiny shadows should wait till the big cloud showers and got itself melted. Then again tiny shadows will appear...as though they had won the war...!! But, at corner of mind they know that one day one more cloud will come and again destroys their existance. I feel pity on my "dynamic" small shadow.

But again...if some day if my shadow do not with me...I feel disappointed....as though lost something important in life...!!


Just wondering whether I am laughing looking at my shadow or my shadow is laughing at me...!! whatever...I want my shadow to be with me always... there is always a sunny day "tomorrow"...time to meet my own shadow again...!! Tomorrow always may not be sunny...but I will keep on chasing the shadow...!!

Who am I?

some feel I am a comical...
some feel I am a twaddle..
suddenly I woke up...
asked myself.."Who am I..?"

some say I am a genius..
some questioned "are you a dunce?"
suddenly I woke up..
asked myself.."Who am I..?"

some helped me when I was in a dilemma..
some ignored when I was in a trauma..
suddenly I woke up..
asked myself.."Who am I..?"

some days I looked beyond eclipse..
some day I will look back to cherish..
suddenly I did not wake up..
did not ask to myself .."Who am I..?"

Negation of 'hope'

I said, "Let's go to heaven.."
She replied, " You go to hell alone...!"

I said, "Let's mingle.."
She replied, "I already did..!"

I said, "I can win the world, if you are with me, you are my frailty."
She replied, "I can also win, without you..!"

I said, "Please do not play with me.."
She replied, "Life is a game play it..!"

I said, "But you were never like this.."
She replied, "Wrong assumption..!"

I said, "Looks life stagnant without you.."
She replied, "Life never be stagnant..!"

I said, "Let's forget everything, we 'll start a new life.."
She replied, " There is nothing to remember...!"

I said, " I will die without you.."
She replied, "I am not gonna come to your funeral..!"

I said, "You are cruel.."
She replied, "Thank God..You finally understood me..!"

I said, "Shall I move out of your life.."
She replied, "Doors are open..!"

I said at last,.."Good bye"
She replied, "Good bye forever..!!"

Game Theory

Still I am not able to accept the fact that India had exited from the world cup '07, even though new series has been started. Ofcourse I am also like one-in-million die-hard Indian cricket fan. It happened to be a biggest upset for Indian Cricket at world cup -a cricket CARNIVAL. Literally cried whole night when "minnow" like Bangladesh thrashed India
on an one-sided match. All my excitement have gone in vain. In that painful situation just reminded myself one of the story from Osho's book, in that he says, the only sentence which should give you the strength when you are in sorrow and should make you look ahead for other goals when you are happy is "Life moves on.....".
And thats true.

I am not scratching the wound. Just amazed the way people/media reacted on India's defeat even though ,I know its hard to digest the fact. Reality bites.
Huge echo of hue and cry made me to write some thing on this. In the odd time we all read some very useful things.But the problem is no one really impliments it.
I remembered a quote written by one of my friend in school's slam book, "Life is a game, play it"- looks very simple, but very meaningful. On the contrary quote does not say..
"Life is a game, win it..!!" There is no word "win" in that quote, that was the most important thing.

At the end of the day, Cricket is a game like any other. So, what the big fuss in it. Always expectations do not come true. Game is always an un-predictable and it should be like that. If every results happens to be as predicted then, that is not a game at all. Only rule in "Game Theory" suggests each player/team should get a "fair" chance.
Playing is the only thing which makes you to move on with a life, Not the winning or loosing (or even a tie..!!).

When emotions involved in a "Game", then it hurts. Hurts badly. I was watching yesterday a knock-out soccer match between two non-popular football clubs Charlton Athletic Vs Tottenham Hotspur, and it was a do-or-die situation for Charlton Athletic in their home crowd, but they lost 0-2 and they have "relegated" from the league. All Charlton Athletic supporters were crying. Tears falling from kids who were so passionate about the game. Intresting thing which I have observed is that, they all stood up and applauded
to their team, one of the supporter held the signboard written as "We will be back" , and that shows the spirit. Still tears were falling from their eyes...

Those are real fans of the game. It taught me a lesson inturn.

Game is a virtual mirror of life, same rules applies to life....Just PLAY it....play to win...never play to loose. If you play for win, then defeat does not matter much to you.
As Lord krishna long back summarizes whole thing in "Karmanya vadhikaraste Ma phaleshu kadachana...."

If you win its good, or just say yourself that, "I will be back...infact back with a bang....!!"

Being an Insomniac...

Insomnia creeping on me slowly. Having sleepless nights on a daily basis.But feeling as though I am at cloud nine now a days , when whole world sleeps I awake...!!

Dictionary meaning says Insomniac, is "someone who cannot sleep". Shakespeare describes as someone who had "twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights". Insomnia has its own capability to make someone think,when he is alone completely. But what do you think, is depends on person to person.

First of all, I am wondering why am I suffering from Insomnia....and becoming Insomniac? Is it because not able to cope-up with the life...Is it because aims and ambitions set for myself are too high .....Is it because of some of the worst and best memories of life, so that I can look back at them in the dark.....or Is it because helplessness......or....still trying to find an answer, if possible trying to avoid insomnia itself.

But believe it or not, it does help me to scratch my head on above mentioned things. Sometimes, even the ordinary time I had some time back....looks extra-ordinary now. And what I thought as an extra-ordinary event looks ordinary now.
My first real blog "Cafe Coffee day", is a result of me being an Insomniac. I still remember, it was 2am in the morning, suddenly I took my Thinkpad and typed something to show my idiotic crativity...!!
Do not know where am I heading with this Insomnia??


Note:whole world sleeps I awake -Scientifically not correct.